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Jane D., a professional writer with ADHD in her early 40s, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives and works near a big city on the West Coast.

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Archives: December 2009

posted: Monday December 21st - 3:22pm

ADHD Dating Strategies and Solutions

I told the boyfriend that I’d like to take him up on his offer of accompanying me to see a therapist. But I still fear telling him about my ADHD.

The snowstorm hit like an child’s tantrum, sudden and explosive, and dumped close to two feet of snow over the weekend. The boyfriend and I accomplished our long-planned trip up north to a small town where he had once worked, a “chapter” in the ongoing book of his life. Funny how I, too, connect places, addresses and homes to chapters in my life. I can’t even...
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posted: Thursday December 17th - 11:28am

ADHD, Relationship Insecurity, and Winter Blues

I am very close to telling the boyfriend about my attention deficit disorder with the hope that it may buy some sympathy.

Could it be that at age 34, with a new crop of white hairs, the reality that my mother did not acknowledge my birthday, and the other reality that with all I’ve accomplished I still feel inadequate, the little girl of 10 years old emerges begging and screaming for attention? My sister was born with kidney failure and has been through a dozen plus surgeries since...
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posted: Monday December 14th - 4:48pm

ADHD Relationship Confusion

The attention deficit part of me wonders if the boyfriend has simply gotten bored and moved onto the next flavor of the season.

The birthday comes and goes, and all was blissful. I looked in the mirror and found a few new, white hairs, and a feeling that time has lost its meaning. Every year flashes by with greater speed. Things are going okay with the boyfriend, although there is increasingly a sense of dissatisfaction and discontent with him. It's been a while since I've been with someone who...
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posted: Thursday December 3rd - 12:04pm

Time to Tell the Boyfriend About My ADHD?

The growing need to share my attention deficit disorder -- what I regard a dark secret -- grows as I increasingly feel that this would offer some context as to who I am, and why I react a certain way.

The birthday is around the corner and driving me batty. There is a sense of utter doom and ultimately anger at what I've sometimes considered wasted years and energy. I remember that a neurologist once showed me a drawing of an iceberg, with the majority of it submerged. A person with ADHD is running at 30 percent when she could be at 100 percent. It has...
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posted: Tuesday December 1st - 2:36pm

ADHD and Dreams of an "Adult" Life

At an ADHD group I participated in, I set the goal of buying an apartment. A year and a half later, I have yet to take any of the steps I mapped out.

The sister is moving out of our parents' house. She has her own place now and the moving day is marked with a finite red "X" on the calendar. At the age of 27, she's acquired something very adult-like that I have yet to imagine attaining -- a mortgage. The irony here is that I am seven years her senior, and am a real estate junkie...
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