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Jane D., a professional writer with ADHD in her early 40s, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives and works near a big city on the West Coast.

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Archives: July 2009

posted: Wednesday July 22nd - 4:23pm

Dating with ADHD: Relationship Milestones... and Setbacks

A voice from within told me to shut up, stop rambling, be quiet. But for every attention-deficit impulse I can get under control, there is another that overwhelms me.

Somewhere between rushing to the Chef's home at 11 p.m., followed by a night of non-sleep (maybe it is the ADHD medication Adderall), the other woman surfaced. The chef and I chatted briefly and did nothing except turn our backs to each other and sleep. It was the right thing to do. I was exhausted though and decided to refuel on a nap around 8:30 a.m. after...
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posted: Thursday July 16th - 2:30pm

ADHD and a Bad Reaction

People with ADHD tend to run with negative thoughts and emotions. When I don't notice the present—and fixate on the past—there is a sense of desperation, and no one to share it with.

The vicious cycle continues. Ever since I've been taking Adderall for my adult attention deficit disorder, I've felt focused, and yet sadder and angry. There is an edge that is sharpened by this medication, and I'm not sure that I like it. I wonder if it is childhood trauma, a personality disorder, or the ADHD medication. There are extreme ups and downs, and little control over...
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posted: Wednesday July 15th - 9:55am


Telling a "loved one" about the diagnosis of adult attention deficit disorder, at last.

Jane D.
I finally let the cat out of the bag, and for the first time told a guy I am dating about the ADHD. I was forced to and now feel coerced into it. He and I have fought like a cat and dog, and it has been this way since the beginning. He is physically and emotionally needy. I have my warts too. Despite being smart,...
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posted: Wednesday July 8th - 9:51am

My Sister's Keeper

We're bonded by blood, but also disorder. Hers is the visible, physical kind, while mine—adult ADHD—is a mental health condition that's often misunderstood. The reality is both disorders are chronic and disruptive.

Jane D.
I finally agreed to see “My Sister's Keeper” with the sister. I knew that it would be a tearjerker. I’d seen the trailers and previews. I hate tearjerkers because they leave me feeling emotionally naked, and this flick was too close to home. I was diagnosed with adult attention deficit disorder at age 30, and, to this day, loved ones sometimes slip into a familiar lecture...
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posted: Saturday July 4th - 5:51pm

The Fridge: A New Man in the Annals of Dating

I am back to the merry-go-round style of dating—one of the few predictable points in my adult ADHD life.

Jane D.
Despite the Adderall, despite making new friends who have adult attention deficit disorder, despite a bout of what I believe is depression, my search for love continues in the big bad city. There is a new guy in my life. Not the Chef, but someone who is the antithesis of men I've previously dated. He is 5'4, chummy, and looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid. He...
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posted: Thursday July 2nd - 12:27pm

Back with the Folks: Adult ADHD Is the Career Culprit

The dad’s lecturing aside, it seems I’m unable to conduct a strategic job search from step one to 10. Having attention deficit disorder, I am skipping around like a broken record, instead.

Jane D.
For an ADHDer, a basic job search is as hard as stopping a freight train moving at high speed. Sure I will shoot out a CV here and there, and I’m still teaching at the swim school, but to be honest I have yet to get my act together. I’m having difficulties conquering the task of applying for a real job with financial stability and healthcare...
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