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Jane D., a 30-something professional writer and student with ADHD, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives, works, and studies in a big city on the East Coast.

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Archives: April 2009

posted: Tuesday April 28th - 12:05pm

Lessons from a Toxic Friend

Increasingly, and in my typical ADHD fashion, I saw a pattern that I was falling for people—friends, bosses, and potential suitors—who ordered me around and treated me like a child.

Jane D.
Continuing on part one, my blog post from Monday: We had moments ago finished the 24-miler, and my swim partner, (the Ph.D. to my ADHD), left me. Just like that. I wanted to ask him about the race, about our performance. Instead, I celebrated with other swimmers and my home-stay hosts. The swim partner is one of the few people who I have told about my...
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posted: Monday April 27th - 12:57pm

At the Finish Line. What Now?

Adults with ADHD know to celebrate every accomplishment. Well, I crossed the finish line, literally and figuratively.

Jane D.
I know that, for the past several months, I've been a bit of a wet towel, a sour puss, writing constantly about what is wrong with my life, and what is wrong with me. But here now is a turn of sorts. I have been in Gatorland, aka Florida, for the past week, soaking up the sun. I arrived to swim a 24-mile race as a...
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posted: Thursday April 23rd - 2:15pm

Dressing Down the ADDer

Say what you will about people with ADHD, young and old. But in times of adversity, we can still always kill them with kindness.

Jane D.
I spoke with my Type A Ph.D. friend again, my swim partner for the upcoming open-water swimming relay race—and, frankly, every conversation with him is critical or depressing. Maybe this is just the way he is, but he must have very low self-esteem if he feels a need to lecture me. When will the non ADHD folks learn that droning lectures and speeches don’t work for...
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posted: Wednesday April 22nd - 12:25pm

ADHD and the Fear Factor

Each and every day, I am in constant fear that these symptoms of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder will cost me my job. It's happened before.

Jane D.
The symptoms of adult ADHD are back again, fighting the clock, being late. Last night the two roommates and I drank wine and made a toast to the belated birthday of the one who just turned 30. Thirty sounds so young now. I can say this as I inch towards 35. I recall a passage in Peggy Noonan’s book, What I Saw at the Revolution, where...
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posted: Tuesday April 21st - 4:48pm

Can I Get a Dating Do-Over?

Coping with a breakup is never easy, but neither is getting involved with an attention-deficit adult.

Jane D.
The Italian Stallion and I broke up. He was one of the promising guys, but it was a failed romance. I’ll be the first to tell you, nothing is easy about dating a woman with attention deficit disorder. We are (okay, I am) chronically late, prone to overreact, and poor at listening. Dating an ADDer is just not for everyone. While most women wouldn’t take it...
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posted: Wednesday April 15th - 11:25am

Tax Season for ADHD Adults: What Can Go Wrong?

Run late. Put it off. Start and don't finish. Lose the forms. Forget to mail. Anything that can possibly go wrong for the ADHD filer, does.

Jane D.
It’s April 15, tax deadline day. I haven’t forgotten or left this task half-finished. Rather I am reminded of my attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD) when tax season rolls around. The mess of W2 forms, the 1099 forms, the bank statements: all indications of how deep my procrastination runs. Indeed, tax season has been hanging over my head like a bell jar for the past two months...
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posted: Tuesday April 14th - 10:29am

The Best ADHD Traits

I am told it gets better: teaching kids, the stock market, the economic cycles, and even love. I have a tough time believing it, but that doesn’t mean I'll stop trying.

Jane D.
I am stubborn. This has always been a trait of mine, a very positive ADD trait. I don't give up easily, and—like many other adults with attention deficit disorder I know—when I have a passion, I go for it. Despite losing my voice and fighting a cold, I decided to go to work on Monday. I was going to call out sick, but instead I called...
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posted: Tuesday April 7th - 3:52pm

Scattered in the Pool

The job and my life are like Groundhog Day. The toxic thinking, that old feeling of being a failure: It’s creeping up.

Jane D.
I never thought that I would be surrounded with people whose attention spans are worse than mine until I began working with three- to six-year-olds at the pool, where I've been relegated to earning my survival money. On the job, I am forced to deal with screaming, tantrums, and an audience that reminds me of the monkeys that I feared when I was a girl and...
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posted: Tuesday April 7th - 9:57am

ADHD Sleep Deprivation

When you're an unemployed adult with attention deficit disorder, any efforts to reinvent yourself are never that simple.

Jane D.
It is 2 a.m. and I am sleepless. I wonder if it’s the post-swimming dinner of Argentinean empanadas, courtesy of a good friend—or if it is the worry over the taxes, the symptoms of adult attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD), and the life search that looms over me, day and night. In the past two weeks, I learned that two former colleagues, part of the layoff entourage,...
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posted: Saturday April 4th - 7:02pm

I'm an ADHD Lifetime Original Movie

My life might be ideal television for the attention-impaired, but for the rest of you: Watching me on TV may lead to an increased risk for ADHD.

Jane D.
My very odd relationship with the 60-year-old suitor makes me think about my diagnosis of attention deficit disorder (adult ADHD). Am I insecure, are my poor relationship choices due to low self-esteem from ADD—or do I just like old men? I joked with another friend that when we walk down the street, some passerby might mistake me for being his caretaker, or “live-in companion.” The father...
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