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Jane D., a 30-something professional writer and student with ADHD, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives, works, and studies in a big city on the East Coast.

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Archives: February 2009

posted: Thursday February 26th - 2:17pm

The ADDer's Drop-Off at the Pharmacy

A medication mix up becomes a new chore on the long and useless task list.

Jane D.
Every person who’s been diagnosed with adult attention deficit disorder—or who suspects ADHD symptoms—has felt that feeling. The feeling of failure, the near certainty of it, serving as a red flag that "you. are. different.” Maybe you're prone to forget, likely to lose things, likely to not listen, or otherwise getting things wrong that other adults without the disorder seem to get right. Why so grim?...
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posted: Thursday February 26th - 12:00pm

Desperately Seeking Stimulants

Health-care reform that helps an uninsured, unemployed adult with attention deficit disorder (read: me) foot the bill for COBRA? A small relief for what ails the ADDer.

Jane D.
It's been almost two months since I've been pink slipped from the full-time job. The health benefits will be expiring soon, and I am fretting! The cost of continuing health insurance coverage on COBRA is going to cost me an arm and a leg. There are many days I’ve wished that adult attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) was considered severe enough a disorder that I could claim...
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posted: Monday February 23rd - 12:07pm

How Not to Lose Your Job When You’ve Got ADHD

Balance work, the hobbies, the symptoms of adult attention deficit. Simple as that. I think.

Jane D.
My life as I envisioned it, a high-flying foreign correspondent, a Devil Wears Prada-like editor, flashed and crashed yesterday before my eyes. Yesterday was a chlorine-packed day of work at the new part-time job, where I spent a record nine hours at the pool screaming to nine- and 10-year-olds. "Come on, kick harder." "Keep your legs together!" "High elbow when you stroke!" Even that was night and...
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posted: Thursday February 19th - 7:01pm

Inside the Mind of the Thirtysomething with ADHD

What are single women with attention deficit disorder really chasing?

Jane D.
I’ve been avoiding writing about Valentine’s Day, because this year’s occasion is the first where I have felt so, well, shitty. All around me, friends are married and on their first or second child. And here I am: single, jobless, and nearly homeless. I chatted recently with a woman with attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD), who said that, at the age of 34, she still falls for...
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posted: Wednesday February 18th - 8:07pm

A Passion for Water, Through Attention Deficit Disorder

It is not enough to stay afloat and to rest. A job loss, an adult ADHD diagnosis, a failed relationship: There is one life to live, so fly.

Jane D.
Congratulations are in order today, despite the icy, Polar bear-like weather, despite the potholes on the asphalt, and despite the unemployment numbers that keep rising. I got a job today. No, not in the corporate world; there are no paychecks or obvious benefits here (but more on that later). I got a gig teaching swimming—a sport that has morphed from personal passion into livelihood—at a charter school...
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posted: Friday February 13th - 3:04pm

Sylvia Plath Fantasies Laced with ADHD and Irony

What does a person do when they’ve hit bottom?

Jane D.
The Nigerian Nightmare of a roommate returned with fury today. “This place is a pig sty,” she says. No Duh. She expects me to follow up with everything—paying the bills on time, chasing her for rent, scheduling the maid. (Why would anyone ask these things of an adult with attention deficit disorder [ADD/ADHD] in the first place?) But when I’ve attempted communication, she’ll turn into a raging...
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posted: Thursday February 12th - 7:22pm

Attention Deficits That Hold Up the Job Hunt

Most adults with ADD can spend the day doing nothing, simply because that’s how the mind with ADD works: it dithers, it drifts.

Jane D.
I'm about ready to pick up the bags and a one-way ticket and head to Florida or some faraway island that constitutes an escape. Somewhere at the tip of my tongue lies the words, "I've had enough, enough is enough." This entire winter and my life feel like boot camp, and the worst of its kind. It has been nearly two months since becoming unemployed, and...
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posted: Wednesday February 11th - 8:19am

Love Recession

Adult ADHD, trouble sleeping, winter blues. There are no excuses, and, sometimes, you have to stick to your gut.

Jane D.
I think I am slumping into a bad case of the jobless blues. I struggle to get up, and have been getting to bed rather late. Maybe it's the whole living with adult attention deficit thing again (ADD/ADHD). Trouble going to bed, trouble putting boundaries in my life. I don't know, but it doesn't feel right anymore. The 60-year-old lawyer, who has a romantic liking for me,...
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posted: Friday February 6th - 10:23am

Jobless, and Slipping From Reality

Being laid off means entering a new world and starting over. Is this how ordinary people—with or without adult ADHD—live?

Jane D.
The weather in the Big Apple reminds me of my days in New York’s rustbelt. The 24 inches of snow and the blanket of depression that came with it. I’m sorry that I can’t be more chipper. I’ve never been diagnosed with a terminal disease (knock on wood), and indeed the diagnosis of adult attention deficit disorder is not hopeless. I know, wasted time, wasted energy,...
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posted: Monday February 2nd - 11:05am

Online Dating and the ADD Buddy System

I made the most of being jobless in January. Dated, drafted a resume, and partnered with a woman who has ADHD.

Jane D.
I'm lucky. In my newly laid-off life, I am still getting dates. I've been asked out by a string of guys who I've met or kept in contact with from the Internet dating days. I've been rather enjoying the free meals and the company. It breaks up the monotony of the day—which would otherwise be spent sleeping in late, worrying about health insurance for the attention...
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