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Jane D., a professional writer with ADHD in her early 40s, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives and works near a big city on the West Coast.

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Archives: January 2009

posted: Thursday January 29th - 5:43am

A Staycation from ADHD

Date night gave me the stimulus I needed to forget about the job-pinched money crisis I found myself in.

Jane D.
New York winters are horrendous. Last night I went out with my 59-year-old date again. Indeed, amongst the financial mess, a life crisis of unemployment, and a severe ice storm, I have found time to date. I told myself that I was so over men after last year’s string of lost romances—due to incompatible ADD traits I'm sure (attention deficit disorder), I’m sure—but here is someone...
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posted: Wednesday January 28th - 10:11am

Taking an Unexpected Turn

I know life with attention deficit disorder is no simple task—but I didn’t know I’d be back at square one at 33 years old.

Jane D.
In a bit of desperation, I decided to attend the open house of a tuition-free learning center for women. The words "tuition-free" made me smile. I went there and discovered that most of the women were either housewives with grown children, who needed to support themselves because of absentee husbands, or welfare mothers, who needed to attend to keep the checks coming. I sat among the...
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posted: Sunday January 25th - 2:36am

A Long Hard Winter for Laid-Off Workers

As I hunt for job offers in a world that divides into the "haves" and "have nots," I'm reminded suddenly that an adult with ADHD will almost always be on the outside.

The days of unemployment blend into each other, and I am fast discovering that finding piecemeal jobs is driving me even crazier. A babysitting job here and there, and teaching swimming for $12 an hour. Oh, there is work to be done, even in this economic downtown, but where do adults with attention deficit disorder (ADHD/ADD) fit in? For me, the work never ends, and the...
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posted: Friday January 23rd - 10:07am

A Heartbreaking Smirk at Drifting Genius

Can the outside world see the wit and wisdom in us adults with attention deficit disorder?

Jane D.
The father would be very disappointed, but I slept until close to 11 a.m. yesterday. Back in job land I would rise at the crack of dawn to swim. But now, living a life as an unemployed adult with attention deficit (ADD/ADHD), motivation seems to have fizzled. Friends, or as the Chinese like to say, “the wine and banquet friends,” have been calling. "Where are you,...
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posted: Thursday January 22nd - 10:01am

Living with Adult ADHD in Unemployment Land

When I had a job, I had a boss barking after me. Now the days just plod along, as I try to fight unemployment boredom.

Jane D.
A few weeks into unemployment, and I am already running out of much-prized patience. What does an impulsive adult with attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD) do in the aftermath of losing his or her full-time job? For me, it was, Eat lots of Ben and Jerry's, cry, and then fall into sweet sleep. The father called this morning at 7:50 to make sure that I was awake. It...
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posted: Friday January 16th - 10:50am

If Obama Were Santa Claus, I’d Have a Job

A wrong career move, a bad economy, a mismanagement of attention deficit symptoms. So many factors led to my job loss.

Jane D.
Last night I had a sweet dream. I had written two awesome papers, and was being heavily praised by the schoolteacher. I felt happy, but panicked that she would find out I had lied in one of my essays. Has my life been a lie? I held on to the dream long after the alarm went off, and when I finally awoke, it was near noon. I...
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posted: Monday January 12th - 11:27am

ADHD and the Downsizing Effect

Your job is your identity. I've lost both, and health insurance for attention deficit medication might be next.

Jane D.
In the land of job layoffs, there is no structure for the typical adult with attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADD or ADHD). Time seemingly loses its meaning. The alarm on the cell phone goes off, and I roll over and slip back under the covers. The nightmare of a roommate is gone for now, and I am engulfed in much-needed silence. At the end of the first full...
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posted: Friday January 9th - 12:20pm

A Distraction from the Day-to-Day Stress of ADHD

To break from the anguish of unemployment and untreated attention deficit disorder, I turned to another misery: dating.

Jane D.
In a halfhearted shot at diversion, I went out on date two with the guy from church. He's in his late 30s, estranged from his mother, and he doesn’t have a job. (Can't really hold that one against him, having joined the breadline myself.) He's been avalanching me with emails and calls. While some might interpret his exuberance as passion, I, an impatient and easily bored person...
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posted: Thursday January 8th - 10:31am

Treat ADHD with a Delete Button

I resolve to be productive. How about a do-over delete button to make the goal reachable for people with attention deficit disorder?

Jane D.
Dire times require drastic measures. I am not sure if that is what I should believe, but it certainly feels that way. I feel like the people who I'd been close with have run their course, and that relationships that had once meant something have fizzled. I am not sure if it is a behavior common to adults with attention deficit disorder (ADHD/ADD), but I feel...
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posted: Wednesday January 7th - 5:28pm

Sorrow for the Unemployed ADHD Woman

Everyone pities you when you're jobless, even more so when you're diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADHD).

Jane D.
On the surface I am the same woman—fashionable, smiles, laughter. But since the layoff, I feel like inside I’ve been cut from the lifeboat, and am floating further away from civilization. What happens when a woman with attention deficit disorder doesn't have a man or a job? And what happens when that woman can no longer afford her ADHD medication? Now with zero structure, I've been...
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posted: Monday January 5th - 10:51am

Going Home for the Holidays with ADHD

The chronic reality of anxiety and depression from the job loss sets in, and the holiday cheer disappears.

Jane D.
Managing symptoms of attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD) seemed to have lost its immediacy and focus during the holidays. With the turning of another birthday, another year, another season, and with the sudden loss of a job, life suddenly becomes black and white. It is as if the lens zoomed into the most pressing things—finding a job, finding direction, and being forced to go after what is...
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