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Jane D., a professional writer with ADHD in her early 40s, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives and works near a big city on the West Coast.

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Archives: October 2008

posted: Monday October 27th - 10:00am

ADD People Like Me

I've traded the ADHD medication and therapist for a 3-month workshop with fellow adult ADDers like me.

Jane D.
I have arrived at an awakening. It has been six days since I've been off the med, the 20 mg. of Adderall. I still take a half a pill of the Lex, for the sake of simply saying I am doing something. The difference is that I feel calmer, even if I'm more disorganized. Today, as I wrote and pecked away, I found myself mismatching first...
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posted: Thursday October 23rd - 10:52am

I Need a Lifeline

Imagine if I were misdiagnosed. Deep down, I know it's not true—but in dreamland, I don't have ADD.

Jane D.
"Lifeline please..." I had a good laugh watching the Saturday Night Live skit a few nights ago where Tina Fey does Sarah Palin, and Amy Poehler does Katie Couric. I cackled when Palin asked for a "lifeline" when asked a question that she either wanted to dodge or couldn't answer. Either way, the word spin-cycled in my head today. I need a vacation—a lifeline—some certainty in...
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posted: Thursday October 16th - 11:43am

That's It

I fear I'm falling into a depression.

Jane D.
Enough is enough. I fear that I am falling into a depression. First the financial markets, then a string of unreliable men, and I am just tired—physically and mentally spent. I can understand why the betta male wouldn't want a girl like me. It's too stressful when you are dealing with a basketcase, which is clearly what I've become. I want to do everything and in...
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posted: Wednesday October 15th - 11:14am

A Loss of Time

Seemingly overnight, the world has shifted and changed into something unrecognizable.

Jane D.
In ADD land, time has little meaning. I was thinking about this last night as I sat surfing the web mindlessly and aimlessly, after swimming and downing the usual shake and fries with my pseudo-boyfriend. I've decided that, right now, he's my best bet in the dating hell I live in. While his touch does not really turn me on, he is patient and lets me...
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posted: Monday October 13th - 4:44pm

A Disorganized ADD Double Life

I dashed out, full of hope, with hot pink post-its and a stack of folders.

Jane D.
The dream last night was colorful yet hazy. I dreamt that there was a pile of pretty stones, some prettier than others, and that I was in a classroom of sorts where we were asked to pick the one that we wanted. I hemmed and hawed about whether to choose the prettiest one or the most practical. Could it be a reflection of the indecisiveness about...
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posted: Thursday October 9th - 11:49am

Apologizing for ADHD Behaviors at Work

I want to do everything right, to be precise, to work as swiftly as the rest of the world—but I can't.

Jane D.
I had Britney Spears dancing in my head this morning, that song, "Oops, I did it again," on the tip of my tongue. I come into work and there is an angry call from a PR woman who is pissed that the date in a story we churned out was wrong. It didn't help that she demanded that I email it to her now, since she...
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posted: Monday October 6th - 2:07pm

Making Peace with ADHD

In the end, those with and without attention deficit come with imperfections, so why not accept them — and ourselves?

Jane D.
The morning started with searching for the appointment book again... one of at least a half-dozen appointment books. There is the Google calendar, the Yahoo calendar, the legal pad with the litany of to-do items, resolutions, promises, goals, short term, medium term, long term. All I want to do is take a match and burn everything. If you can't find it, then burn the pile and...
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posted: Thursday October 2nd - 11:07am

The Jerk-Jock

On a date, I am reminded that everyone has issues. I have warts, too.

Jane D.
OK, this is the 12th date, with the really quiet, seemingly nice and normal guy (AKA the jerk-jock) and probably the last one. At first, he looked reserved, pleasant, preppie—a blend between insurance and banker—but it turns out he is totally weird. He's a control freak. When I say I can't talk now, but I can talk later, he just says, "I'll call you tomorrow." The warts...
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