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Jane D., a professional writer with ADHD in her early 40s, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives and works near a big city on the West Coast.

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Archives: March 2008

posted: Monday March 24th - 10:07am

The Confessional

I'm so scared of getting the ax, so tempted to tell the boss about the ADD. Why not just come clean?

Jane D.
Maybe it's the Catholicism, or maybe the ADD me. Either way, I feel like I'm increasingly feeling guilty all of the time. The pseudo-boyfriend, the one who I really loved, and gave gifts to, and called and emailed and truly cared about, basically dumped me two weeks ago and then a week ago reiterated that he wanted to be friends. Well, I don't want to be...
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posted: Monday March 17th - 3:53pm

"Do Not Call Him!"

Is a silent retreat a bad idea for an ADD adult? I found I was OK with not talking, but this didn't stop my ADD mind from running wild.

Jane D.
Silent meditation retreats are such a bad idea for ADDers. It's like asking me to climb Everest in the worst of ways, but mandatory because next week, I'm supposed to become a Catholic. It's no joke. After six months of weekly classes, Easter is the climax. I'm supposed to march up to the altar along with all 18 of my fellow candidates and get baptized. I'm...
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posted: Friday March 14th - 9:53am

Skeletons Emerge

I'm the ADD girl, the one they pat on the back when she's late or loses track of conversations.

Jane D.
The boss feels bad for me in some ways. I can tell she wants to help; she knows that something isn't right. She knows that the subject matter is putting me to sleep. She might even be able to see the ADD, but all she can do is tell me to please think more, do less, read more. The thing I don't want to admit to...
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posted: Tuesday March 11th - 10:59am

Uh-Oh (The Warning Letter at Work!)

Ms. Boss is dead on with my anxiety, disinterest, lack of focus. Could I blame it on ADD?

Jane D.
The boss asked me to stay and chat with her after the weekly meeting today, and, please, close the door. Uh oh. Every time I hear "close the door," it freaks me out. I imagine that I'm being kidnapped and about to get the guillotine. She said that she got two phone calls in a week about sources (aka clients) who were concerned that I didn’t...
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posted: Thursday March 6th - 9:24am

Plant Killer

Today was one of those god-awful days when I felt like my self-esteem was in the sewer.

Jane D.
The betta fish is sick again; the fin rot has returned. At night, it thrashes against the pebbles, perhaps looking to bury itself. The red pineapple-styled plant that was purchased over the summer is officially dead. A few days ago, I found a baby roach crawling on it, and I finally snipped off the stump that was once a flower. I was going to throw it...
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posted: Tuesday March 4th - 9:36am


At times like this, I sit in cubicle land and pout and sulk. I'm trying, but, in the adult world, there is no A for effort.

Jane D.
A week back from ski land, and it's back to the funk. Lately the problem is literally pushing things through, getting things done, staying as excited in the middle and end as in the beginning. In the meantime, I'll come up with ideas that I'm told are clever and brilliant. Yesterday I watched a colleague throw a conniption over the lack of customer service from the...
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