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Jane D., a professional writer with ADHD in her early 40s, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives and works near a big city on the West Coast.

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Archives: February 2008

posted: Friday February 29th - 1:02pm


The daily routine feels like a straitjacket. Am I battling impatience—an ADD trait—or depression?

Jane D.
Boredom sets in and hits like a boulder. I’ve been at the job for a year and plus. Supposedly there’s still lots that I could learn, and yet I feel caged. It’s painful getting through the day; routine feels like a straitjacket. Get up, go to the subway, squeeze into a relentless crowd where there are no smiles, arrive at work, turn on the computer and start...
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posted: Tuesday February 26th - 10:00am

An Un-romantic Getaway

Is it true that adults with ADD are attracted to the superficial and not very good at relationships in the long run?

Jane D.
Ahhh, home sweet home in New York City. Somehow it was heaven crossing the Triborough Bridge, and once again seeing the skyline through the wintry haze. Last night, it snowed a record six inches. Five days away with the pseudo-boyfriend and well what can I say, I’m bored, I’ve had enough. I’m sort of in a state where I feel like I’m in a fork in the road...
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posted: Thursday February 21st - 1:37pm

A Respite

If he asked about my ADD meds, I would lie and say it was Tylenol. The diagnosis still feels like a mark of shame.

Jane D.
Rather than go insane, I've decided to take a vacation with the mystery man up in the white mountains of New Hampshire, where I am on my second day Nordic skiing. The ADD self is like a sponge, drinking in all of these different interests. Yesterday, it was a ride up on an old cog railway. The moment I sat on the soot-soaked machine, I thought,...
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posted: Thursday February 14th - 5:06pm

February Funk

Is there a dating site for ADDers? If not, some ingenious tech geek should launch one.

Jane D.
I’ve been in a funk: a writing funk, job funk and even swimming funk. First of all, I found another patch of gray hair today and took out the tweezers again. It got me thinking that rite of passages are fascinating. When you're six and lose a tooth, you get money from the tooth fairy. At 32, you get a patch of white hair, and it's...
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posted: Wednesday February 13th - 10:14am

A Cracked Plate

On a date, I called the man by the wrong name (What was his name?) It's a sign that I should pause and stop.

A bad case of senioritis, of a plate too full and about to crack once again. Last night, I tossed and turned in a fitful sleep. The roommate left for the left coast, and is visiting the folks. The apartment is now all mine again (I sound like a spoiled child, don't I?). However, the ADD self is resurfacing stronger than ever. A grand sign was...
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posted: Sunday February 10th - 7:56am

The ADD Brain Lady

I'm paying a shrink to listen to me and he almost falls asleep, making me feel as small as an ant.

Jane D.
After a morning of slaving away at the office, I surfaced and went to the psychologist woman, who I've nicknamed the brain lady. She's kind and listens to me, a breath of fresh air compared to the Buddha man who had the nerve to nod off the last time I saw him a week ago. I felt like I was talking to a piece of stale...
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posted: Friday February 8th - 11:35am

Chained to My Desk

I need a new gig for the ADD me. How can I sit in a cubicle and write for a business magazine when I can't figure out the tip for the waitress?

Jane D.
At work, in cubicle land, I find myself struggling with getting things done. With the nemesis gone, there is twice the work to do, harder and tighter deadlines. I am the first one at work everyday. I am there before the secretary, before the coffee pot gets going, before the newspapers are laid out, and I am the last to leave. I am chained to my...
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posted: Thursday February 7th - 4:50pm

Changing My ADD Ways

To prove that I'm not the world's worst listener, I avoid surfing the net and force myself to press the cell phone hard against the ear.

Jane D.
Today at the writing powwow, the instructor once again makes a jab at me, and asks me if it would help if he wrote me a reminder about getting in the next assignment, as if deadlines didn’t exist in the ADD world. Ever since I’ve exposed myself, I feel all the more vulnerable to his comments. I am more than a student in the class, I...
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posted: Wednesday February 6th - 7:22am

Fizzling Romance

My ADD eats into my love life, leaving me feeling empty and starved as Valentine's Day approaches.

Jane D.
The mystery man, the one who I love and think about, has kind of fizzled from my life. On our last date, I made up some excuse and said I wanted to celebrate the Year of the Rat with him. I booked a too-expensive brunch at the River Cafe with a pristine view of the Brooklyn Bridge and Hudson River. A few tables away, I spotted...
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posted: Monday February 4th - 10:02am

Creative Confabs

When I share my ADD story, I waver between wanting sympathy and wanting none at all.

Jane D.
Wednesday is creative writing night. I sit among a group of strangers and do that striptease thing. I've been writing about my ADD and found that there are certainly downsides to sharing the ADD self. They read about my ADD escapades and they say that I have a great sense of humor, but there's an underlying sorrow and layer of low self-esteem. Every time I'm late,...
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