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Jane D., a 30-something professional writer and student with ADHD, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives, works, and studies in a big city on the East Coast.

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Archives: January 2008

posted: Thursday January 24th - 8:32am

A Life of Lists

I am prone to making lists in my mind, at my desk, on the subway. But, when forced to complete the thought, I feel like I’m eating a week of leftovers.

Jane D.
I am prone to making lists in my mind, at my desk, on the subway. I am addicted to little notebooks, stick its, post its. I get this thrill at the very thought of doing something, but the “doing something” excitement fizzles when it's time to get up for bat. Tragic and when forced to complete the thought, I feel like I’m eating a week of...
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posted: Thursday January 17th - 8:55am

Cabin Fever in the Cubicle

I’ve become a bit panicky at work, having nightmares that I'll be saddled with double the workload. Like maybe I should job-jump again.

Jane D.
The nemesis at work quit and is going to greener pastures. I'm happy that he won't be in my face anymore, but sad that in life, reality so often means that the politically savvy get ahead. Moreover, I am starting to have nightmares that the nemesis won't be replaced, and I will be saddled with double the workload—then my ADD self will be totally exposed. Since...
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posted: Wednesday January 16th - 2:21pm

Out of the Closet

The thing about exposing yourself as having ADD is that, once you do it, there's no looking back.

Jane D.
To get out of my funk, I’ve been going to a weekly writing workshop, packed with middle-aged women who have lived enough of life to actually have something interesting to write about. The workshop is therapy really—non-fiction—but why is it that everyone has handed in sob stories: adoption, deaths, illegal immigration, abuse. So what the heck, right? I decided to write about my ADD, no...
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posted: Tuesday January 15th - 10:08am

Learning Boundaries

The ADDers' stories of lost jobs, botched opportunities, misunderstandings, and fears are a reflection of me.

Jane D.
It's the late night ADD group powwow, courtesy of the social networking scene, and once again, I am amused by the characters that have developed within the group. I like to kid myself and call them characters, when, in fact, they are no different than me, an adult with attention deficit disorder. Their stories of lost jobs, botched opportunities, misunderstandings, and fears are a reflection of me...
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posted: Monday January 14th - 7:19am

A Broken Record

I know I'm getting better, slowly, steadily — but all this effort and it's about as visible as the wind.

Jane D.
In a desperate attempt to find someone who I can speak to every week. I've been shopping for someone new. Maybe I've found someone. She's a thin, lanky, Hispanic-looking shrink who works closely with the Buddha man. Same practice and such. My ADD self had trouble remembering where her office was the first day, and then of course, on ADD time, I was ten minutes late...
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posted: Thursday January 10th - 9:53am

Hope—Maybe

I told her, after a year and a half of being diagnosed with ADD, I was still spinning wheels, searching for the right meds and struggling with this thing called organization.

Jane D.
Lately I’ve been sitting in cubicle land, quite miserable at my existence. This is baby season — people are bringing in their new babies to show off, and I haven’t even a boyfriend to show for. It’s discouraging, because never before have I thought babies were that cute. Now I think they are adorable, and I’m wondering if I’ll ever be lucky enough to date someone...
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posted: Wednesday January 9th - 7:21am

Cooling Off

In the ADD world, everything is living for the moment. Maybe I should cool off a little, and think about what I want for me.

Jane D.
The romance with the mystery man has tapered off. I keep thinking back to the Driven to Distraction book that I’ve read. My ADD self is impulsive and romantic. I’m a sucker for fresh flowers and chocolates. I am keen for instant gratification, and in the end, I get burned. Since I’ve shared signs of being too emotionally needy — a window into mental instability — the...
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posted: Monday January 7th - 12:53pm

Every Day is New Year's

I had to agree that every day is January 1 for the ADD adult. The resolutions, the promise to be good.

Jane D.
OK, so it's not working—the resolutions, the promise to be good to myself, and to avoid all troubled souls with friendships, dating, and work. I feel like saying that nothing ever does, but that would be wrong, too. New year's is about new beginnings and working toward resolutions—only here, everything slides backwards. Get up at 7 a.m.; got up at 8 a.m. Sleep at 11 p.m.;...
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