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Jane D., a 30-something professional writer and student with ADHD, blogs about dating and relationships, working and losing a variety of jobs, and surviving and thriving with attention deficit, along with depression and anxiety. She lives, works, and studies in a big city on the East Coast.

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Archives: September 2007

posted: Tuesday September 25th - 5:10pm

Fish Out of Water

On Saturdays I go from the clueless business reporter, who thinks that an LBO is a flying object, to swim instructor.

In the swimming pool I command authority amongst these non-swimmers. From the eyes of a swim virgin I am an Olympian, and a swim goddess. This gives me a much-needed self esteem boost that fuels me through the weekend. It takes courage to take the plunge, take it from Manny, take it from Constantine, take it from Anne. These adults want so badly just to swim a...
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posted: Thursday September 20th - 5:09pm

Living on the Rhythm of an Oven Timer

The thought of forking over $400 a month to have a coach tell me to live my life on the rhythms of an oven timer is too much to bear.

The personal coach lady emailed me over all of these things like an intentions journal, a time log, but there's already enough paper, I don't need more of it. So I leave a message to tell her I want to call off the appointment, and put it off until the new year. On the other hand I wish I were rich and famous and could afford...
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posted: Thursday September 20th - 5:08pm

Wanting It All

Decided to give the meds a rest today, I deserve it and I can save $3 that way.

I've calculated that's the cost of an Adderall pill and a touch of Lexapro per day, as expensive as a Starbucks coffee. I always feel a little funny now when I consciously decide I'm not going to take the meds. I didn't feel any different, in fact I felt a little sunnier than I usually do, I grinned and giggled after the third swim class. The...
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posted: Monday September 17th - 5:03pm

Gratitude for the ADD Me....Yeah, Right.

I am grateful for coffee with Karla (boy I really need to kick the caffeine)...

... and looking forward to joining Ladies who Launch (I dream of a life of autonomy where I can be my own boss) Grateful for Monday night meals of M&M's and grapes (pity my future children who will succumb to my offbeat meals) Grateful that I have a place to live until December I am grateful for the ability to race down the swimming pool in less than a...
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posted: Sunday September 16th - 5:00pm

Can I Afford ADD?

ADD is costing me a fortune. Will any of this work?

This morning, I felt dead at work, my spirit flat, my soul restless. I can find no joy in calling up bankers and asking them the details of the deals, they make a ton of money but so what? They all sound like they are constipated. I juggle incoming emails, I answer phones, I feel chained to my seat, but this morning I had the luck...
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posted: Saturday September 8th - 10:42pm

Inside My Perfect World

I sometimes imagine that I am walking on a thin beam suspended high above the sky, that's what ADD feels like.

One can not cure themselves of ADD, it is chronic but at times humorous. Today, for example, I forgot to take my medication,I say the oddest things also. Tonight the chat with the sister sounded like a skit out of Saturday Night Live. I invited the sister to the next ADD meeting but said it would be really short. Why? Because no one shows up, it's...
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posted: Saturday September 8th - 4:43pm

Hunting and Gathering

In choosing between ADD and being as boring as toast, I often wish I were on the other side of the farm.

This city never sleeps, it is one big colorful explosion of noise and color, of consumerism at its peak. For the ADD me, everything looks like candy, on the way to work, the bookstore I pass every morning, the pet store, the new coffee shop with 100 flavors, the massage boutique, the manicurist, ideas grow like weeds after a rainstorm. I can't stop them. The comedic...
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posted: Tuesday September 4th - 12:00pm

My Piles Make Sense

In order to be an adult, bring home bread and butter, I need to battle my mind everyday,

The room that I am subleasing from the 26 year old grinch of a girl, a fifth floor walkup, has started to resemble the garbage plate cuisine so famous in Rochester, one big fricken mess of artery cloggers. The walls in the room are bordered by piles of magazines, newspapers, paper, there is the Betta fish pile, the swim pile, the to read pile, to do pile,...
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