No Luck: New Meds, But Still Fidgets
The switch to generic Adderall medication has come and gone with no vast improvement in the symptoms of adult ADHD. Honestly? It's as if I want to pay attention, but I simply cannot.
Adult ADHD Blog
|
Thursday May 7th - 10:33am
|
More May 2009 Blogs
I have not been able to get over the reasons behind Mr. PhD's very odd behavior. I'm the kind of girl who would give someone the shirt off my back. I've always had a heart for underdogs (something a lot of adults with ADHD can sympathize with), and despised the pompous and arrogant—the people who think they are Porsches when they are really Kias.
The sister saw the email from Mr. PhD and said it is only human to be hurt and mad at the "prick." I would think I could trust someone I've been friends with for two years. Instead I was tossed over the boat like a bag of potato chips after the swim. "Okay, done with you," Mr. PhD seemed to say. We never had a sexual relationship but I thought we had a friendship.
“Next on the Rolodex,” friends say, but I am a sentimentalist on top of that, and I wonder what I did wrong as both a woman and a woman with ADHD. I know that I do have trouble keeping friends. Maybe it is the musical chair-like moves that have defined my professional and personal life, or the inner critic, who has a sixth sense but judges others as if they were contestants on American Idol.
Anyway, it is day three at a conference I am attending on the future of writing (which seems like it is all headed to Twitter). I've been taking the Adderall, or the Kmart version of it, but still I find that I've been fidgeting a lot and making lists as I attempt and struggle to listen effectively to the speakers. Yesterday it wasn't simply boredom—it was as if I wanted to pay attention, but could not.
It is my last day here, and I will miss the slower pace of life. I don't really want to return to reality. In bright lights, big city, I feel more lost than ever, and for the ADHDer who knows that less is more, it is like a death trap.
 6 Comments:
-
Posted by
chinar3
-
Jul 29 2009 @ 9:01 PM
generic adderall
Makes me feel dizzy and off balance. My vision is blurry! Can't stand it!
-
Posted by
Vixenn67
-
Jun 17 2009 @ 3:01 AM
fidgets
Jackie,
Just a note to clarify, when I say husbands, I meant ex-husbands, (Wouldn't want you to think me a polygymist! :O) )
-
Posted by
Vixenn67
-
Jun 17 2009 @ 2:57 AM
Fidgit
Jackie, My heart goes out to you, You know I was diagnosed with ADD, and my parents and husbands told me I was lazy, yet my co-workers tell me I could not sit still (Even on meds) to save my life. I thing I faulter somewhere between anxiety, depression and aw hell! I work as a funder in the Mortgage business in a small room with 2 other funders who both like to be the center of attention, and have a power struggle going on, they try and drag me in, but on my headphones go... and Godsmack or Metallica come to the rescue (hee hee) I am currently taking 2 tabs per day of the generic adderall, and all I can say is YUK!! I was on Adderall XR, 2x day before but was laid off during the Mortgage crash and have no insurance, so the cost of the (Non-generic XR tabs) medicine I did take curiously enough with our lovely economy kept going up...up...up, and my husband said I would put us in the poor house and we needed another alternative (Funny, he did no believe in the medication at all to begin with, until he saw me go through withdrawal after 6 years of taking it, and then not having any!) so thus, generic adderall was purchased ($65.00/mth compared to $395.00/mth for the XR non-generic version) So I know what real help feels like, what I feel now is let down, frankly it makes me dizzy when I first take it, so I have to hold on to something (Like my life) the my head feels weird, but not focused all damn day) I went to my doctor (My old one retired) and he said when I get insurance we could discuss alternatives, he thinks I should try Concerta. Maybe you should talk to your doctor about other alternative medications, what works for one, does not always work for another! Good luck ! :O)
-
Posted by
shannonm
-
May 12 2009 @ 8:46 PM
fidget
Ha! listing to you girls is great! I feel I am finally at home. Dear JaneD, please look into adhd/emotionally gifted. You have the perceptions of such, and maybe you will find answers. Jackie, Jackie, Jackie, I just want to keep saying it! You are a boundless ball of energy! LOL. I am 39, and this past year have learned my life long issues are due to ADHD. I have surrounded myself with a job that requires soooo much multitasking; it allows continueous interuptions so I don't GET to finish what I start...it gets done when I get back to it. Works great for me and I have become really good at having 100 things going on at one time. I have to be medicated though or I become overwhelmed and cry. Meds allow me to take it as it comes without getting emotionally overwhelmed. Good luck to you all. Key words for the day: SELF DISCIPLINE.
shannon
-
Posted by
windscar6
-
May 11 2009 @ 12:26 PM
meds
im on the same meds as you. i take one and a half in the am before work ( 15mil) and a half around 1( 5mil). i noticed that sometimes i still fidget and have a hard time paying attention to what im doing. but its better then how i was before the meds. the girls at work call me "flash" before my meds. i walk alot slower, talk slower and i can bring myself back to focusing on what im doing on the meds.
-
Posted by
Jackie
-
May 8 2009 @ 9:16 PM
Fidgit
I too fidgit alot! At first it settled, then as i got used to the med, then increased the med, still fidget, increase the med, change the med, FIDGET! Everyone thinks i'm nervous, but i actually think my body is trying to keep up with my brain, i can't even type fast enough. My imaginary day would be: no noise, no people (sometimes), no tv. I would keep my computer though. I've had ADHD since childhood, only treated for it for 3 years, i'm 40. I have 2 girls, one with ADHD, the other with OCD/ADHD, and a husband who thinks he's perfect!! My life : short/sweet.
jackie
|
|
|
