A Staycation from ADHD

New York winters are horrendous. Last night I went out with my 59-year-old date again. Indeed, amongst the financial mess, a life crisis of unemployment, and a severe ice storm, I have found time to date.

I told myself that I was so over men after last year’s string of lost romances—due to incompatible ADD traits I'm sure (attention deficit disorder), I’m sure—but here is someone very polite, nice, and into me.

We went to this zoo of a movie theater, one of those megaplexes that remind me of airport terminals. The mass of noisy teenagers and young couples sorely reminded me that from the observer's eye, I was a young Asian woman with an old white guy. I know what they are thinking, but in this phase of my life I want comfort, security. Chalk it up to life experience or age, but he's very smart. I do not want empty promises and added pressure. My ADD mind can't handle it.

We watched The Wrestler, which made me feel disturbed and blue. Has-been wrestler and has-been stripper find love against the dreary backdrop of a New Jersey working class town. When we left I found myself in a daze, feeling sorry for these non-existent characters. It's only a movie, right?

In the meantime, I'm not sure how much longer I can deal with the uncertainty and stress of job search, the apartment search, and man search. So the movie is an escape from the winter of wind and single-digit temperatures.

I told the father the other day that "this" current situation is the way I imagine hell. I said it with a laugh, and he laughed, too. I think he agreed with me. We are all in the same boat now.