A Distraction from the Day-to-Day Stress of ADHD

To break from the anguish of unemployment and untreated attention deficit disorder, I turned to another misery: dating.
ADHD & the City | posted by Jane D.
Jane D.

In a halfhearted shot at diversion, I went out on date two with the guy from church. He's in his late 30s, estranged from his mother, and he doesn’t have a job. (Can't really hold that one against him, having joined the breadline myself.)

He's been avalanching me with emails and calls. While some might interpret his exuberance as passion, I, an impatient and easily bored person with attention deficit disorder (ADD/ADHD), regard it, and him, as an annoyance and can barely listen without spacing out.

He asked me why I didn't immediately answer his emails, and I felt my cheeks twitch and the nerves return. He sends me a barrage of emails and text messages a day—and expects me to answer them. "I'm flattered to receive your emails, but I just can't answer them immediately," I said. He looked like a puppy that had his toy taken away from him.

He pushed again. “If I can’t see you more than once a week, what’s wrong with consistent email communication?” he asked.

"I'll answer them, but I may not be able to do it ASAP," I responded. My voice was tightening, and I was losing my cool.

"I get it. You've made it very clear that relationships aren't your priority right now," he said. Guilt trip.

"It's not that, but I have a hard time managing all of these emails. I mean I have a touch of attention deficit disorder, so I'm trying my best," I said.

I caught a glimmer of shock in his expression. (Uh, uninformed much? I fought the urge to tell him that ADHD in both children AND adults is much more common than you think.) He was trying to discern if I was bluffing. Either way—ADD, ADHD, or not—it didn't matter. He could sense that something was off all along. He quietly paid the bill, and we parted ways.

I am officially burned out on dating. Not again.

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