Back to It Again

I joked with the little ADD posse (yes, I will call the therapy group my posse from now on) that having adult attention deficit is like being between a rock and a hard place.

I can take the mediation and be so focused that it is like being superglued to my seat, and in the same light, be irritable and angry because I am aware of my deficiencies. Or I can sit around with my thoughts scattered like marbles as my boss wonders why I can't make simple deadlines.

Given how frustrating it was reining my thoughts last week, this morning I took that orange pill called Adderall. How focused can I be? So focused that I am unaware of time, aware that I need to pee and yet I don't go to the restroom. I am stuck in my assignment mentally and physically.

I've tried the Post-Its organizational method, Filofaxes, even the Google Calendar, but now I am back again to a single planner—a heavy bulky leather book that weighs down on my shoulder—and mind—like an anchor.