ADD is like being a child-adult: My tendency is to sit in a sandbox and make mud pies — rather than change diapers.
ADHD & the City |
Jane D.

The family vacation in lobster and clam land went okay. The father, stepmother, the sister and I drove off to Newport, Rhode Island on Saturday morning.

I had suggested the getaway, and the sister ended up doing most of the legwork and the planning. She had compiled a list of places to go and things to do, and I get the feeling that she resents that I am the undisciplined, unorganized participant who merely suggests the idea. We have a love-hate relationship, each one seemingly wanting to prove that our problems are more serious than the other’s. She's the one with the physical problems, but I am the one with the mental disorder.

Sunday morning, before I'd taken the fix of Adderall and Lexapro, I woke up my zany self. My conversation was such a patchwork quilt that she looked at me and burst into laughter. I yawned like a lazy cat under the sun and began babbling off ideas and musings. Here are a few silly examples. "How do we know that men are insane? Mental disorder, MENtal, get it?" Haha. I lay on the bed spreading my limbs out on the mattress like a leaf on the water. I felt five years old again and wonderful. "Do you act like this is front of everybody?" the sister asked. "Yes, no, maybe," I giggled.

In many ways I feel like having ADD is like being a child-adult; my tendency and the temptation is to sit in a sandbox and make mud pies rather than change diapers and pay the bills. I will come up with sudden romantic and offbeat ideas.

Like Saturday night, I thought of raiding the vending machine and planting potato chips, chocolates and other vending-machine cuisine before the father and stepmother's door. I wanted it to be a surprise, but after the thrill of the idea there was no follow through. It fizzled like a lot of other things.

It also bothers me that the father and stepmother haven't acknowledged my disorder, treating me as if I were some "character" rather than someone intelligent who is suffering from something. Rather, the sister gets much of the attention with her physical health issues. Now I must sound like a major brat.

The wonderful and terrible thing is that I am resilient, and I have not given up on the belief that I will turn my life's lemons into lemonade. Before leaving for Newport, I called one of the leaders of the guinea pig group again and asked her about this 12-week ADD group that would start in the fall. The group focuses on practical ways to tackle everyday challenges, and I want to get better. I am gung-ho about it, but now the only thing is follow through.

Monday came and it was back to the city again, back to reality.

Next Blog » A Summer Romance

Previous Blog « Liar, Pants on Fire

Copyright © 1998 - 2016 New Hope Media LLC. All rights reserved. Your use of this site is governed by our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only. See additional information.
New Hope Media, 108 West 39th Street, Suite 805, New York, NY 10018