Learning in adulthood that you have ADHD can throw you for a loop. Here's how to come to terms with a diagnosis and move forward with the right treatment.
"Doctors used to be taught that ADHD affects only children," explains Lenard Adler, M.D., director of the adult ADHD program at New York University. "But now we know that, although hyperactivity may wane, ADHD symptoms such as inattention and impulsivity continue into adulthood."
The condition is still widely underdiagnosed in the general population. Experts estimate that about 80 percent of adults with attention deficit — roughly 5 million — haven't been officially diagnosed and are going untreated. Most undiagnosed adults know that they have more difficulties than others with organization, focus, and productivity than peers or colleagues, so the diagnosis rarely comes as a complete surprise.
FAQs: Six questions to consider before meeting with your doctor.
Your immediate reaction to the news of an ADHD diagnosis may be relief — now you know why you are the way you are. But it may well be regret for past struggles and for what might have been, or fear that ADHD treatment will take away your creativity and change who you are.
You may also have difficulty accepting the diagnosis itself. "Even though my diagnosis made sense, I just couldn't or didn't want to believe it," says one woman who was diagnosed in her forties.
Understand that your feelings about the diagnosis, whether positive or negative, or mixed, are natural. Realizing you have something to feel sad about, or work on, or capitalize on and preserve will help you take action.
POLL: What was your primary emotion upon learning that you have ADHD? Take our community poll.
Deciding to move forward with treatment is a big step, and just the beginning of a new course you'll be carving out for your life. Remember that bringing about major change takes time.
Even under the care of an experienced physician, it may take weeks or even months to find the medication and dosage that work best for you. The effectiveness of ADHD medications varies with each individual, so finding the right one will involve trial and error with different doses and, possibly, different medications.
Once you and your doctor have gotten the medication right, the results can be dramatic. "The first day was like, who pulled up the shades?" recalls one woman who started a stimulant medication after much deliberation. "Already, I'm much more organized and on top of things. I can remember what time I told my teenagers to be home."
TIP: Wondering about complementary therapies? Many adults find that adding a daily fish oil capsule or regular exercise to their routine helps improve focus.
Studies show that attention deficit disorder in adults is treated successfully with a combination of medication and behavior therapy. Medication can help with focus, but it's up to you to take advantage of this newfound clarity of mind to develop strategies that will help your life flow more smoothly.
The coping systems that may have gotten you this far—relying on last-minute bursts of energy and adrenaline or putting in twice as much work behind that scenes to complete projects—are hard to sustain when family and work responsibilities begin to mount up.
"External" organization systems—checklists, planners, PDAs, beeping watches or alarms—become a way of life for many with ADHD. Many newly diagnosed adults work with experienced psychologists, psychiatrists, and ADHD coaches to learn other ADD-friendly behavioral, time management, and organizational strategies.
TIP: Cognitive behavioral therapy trains you to change habits, behaviors, and thought-processes, and studies have proven it to be more effective for adults with ADHD than traditional psychotherapy.
Effective treatment of adult ADHD rarely comes from a single doctor writing out a prescription. Your treatment "team" may eventually include a psychiatrist or other M.D., a psychologist or therapist, an ADHD coach, and a professional organizer.
Don't underestimate the importance of emotional support. An understanding spouse and children, relatives, and friends can be a great help. Newly diagnosed adults may want to reevaluate and diversify their support systems, however, so that they don't rely too heavily on any one person.
Now matter how understanding friends and family are, you may also find that you need to connect with others who grapple with ADHD, who don't need you to explain what you're going through. Attending meetings of your local chapter of CHADD, a nonprofit advocacy and education organization, can provide this kind of been-there-done-that support. Or seek support virtually, through an ADHD listserv or message board, like ADDitude's community forums.