4 Ways to Stop Nagging and Start Disciplining Your ADHD Child

Tired of nagging and yelling at your ADHD child? Try these better approaches for promoting better behavior.

Like all kids, children with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) sometimes make bad choices regarding their own behavior. Parenting ADHD children can challenge a mom or dad's patience and good judgment — to the point that parents make bad decisions disciplining misbehavior. Instead of using firm, compassionate approaches, they move into the ignore-nag-yell-punish cycle.

Take an honest look at how you respond to your child's ADHD behavior and misbehavior. What specific situations are likely to cause you to go down the wrong path? How far down the path do you typically proceed? How often?

Now that you are aware of your discipline strategies, use the following do-and-don’t tips to improve them and achieve better results managing your ADHD child.

Tip #1: Interrupt... Don't Ignore

Interrupt, Don't Ignore

Interrupt, Don't Ignore

DO: Quickly move people or objects to prevent bad behavior.

If your children start quarreling over a toy, you might say, “Alex, sit over there. Maria, stand here. I’ll take this and put it up here.” Similarly, if your ADHD teen comes home for supper with dirty hands, immediately take his plate off the table and silently point to his hands.

DON’T: Ignore your child’s misbehavior.

He may read your silence as “I won’t give you my attention or concern” or even “I reject you.” He might also assume that your silence means you approve of what he is doing.

Tip #2: Be Brief, Don't Spout Off

Be Brief, Don't Spout Off

Be Brief, Don't Chatter

DO: Keep words to a minimum.

Some of the best ADHD parenting advice that can be given is summed up in the following statement: The fewer words you use to discipline your child, the more effective (and heard) they will be. Tell your child once, very clearly, what you expect of him. Then stop talking.

DON’T: Be a chatterbox.

Words are like tires: Each time they rotate against the pavement, they lose tread, and become less efficient at starting, stopping, and steering. Eventually, they will have no “traction” at all — as tires will eventually become bald.

Tip #3: Talk Calmly, Don't Shout

Talk Calmly, Don't Shout

Talk Calmly, Don't Shout

DO: Keep your anger under control.

Tell yourself that you won’t open your mouth until you’re calm enough to speak at normal volume and in a cordial tone. To calm down, spend a few minutes alone — something as simple as excusing yourself to get a glass of water may do the trick.

DON’T: Bark orders like a drill sergeant.

Yelling shows the child that you, the almighty parent, has lost control. Shouting also opens up the door to your child to return the favor and to yell back.

Tip #4: Punish Fairly, Don't Overreact

Punish Fairly, Don't Overreact

Punish Fairly, Don't Overdo It

DO: Impose appropriate punishment.

The punishment should fit the crime. The consequence for spilling milk might be that your child cleans up the mess, and then pours another glass and sets it in a safer place on the table. No reason to blame or yell at her, or even withhold food.

DON’T: Go overboard with the punishment.

In most cases, harsh punishments, like spanking, encourage ADHD children to become sneaky so as not to get caught next time. They may even cause your child to doubt your love for her — something you want to avoid at all costs.

More ADHD Parenting Tips

8 Steps to Better Behavior for Attention Deficit Children

ADHD and ODD: Parenting Your Defiant Child

ADHD Behavior Secrets: Better Discipline for Children

And more ADHD behavior and discipline help