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1. Say no, in a calm, matter-of-fact tone.
When Mom harrumphs, "Why do you always have to whine, Jordan?" she tells her child that she is weak and vulnerable. It seems that there is a chance of getting what he wants if he pushes. Kids hear "No" and "Maybe" at the same time.
Instead, parents of ADHD children should say no in an unemotional, flat tone. Say, "It's not happening." No lecture, no explanation. This is just the way it is.
Over time, kids respect this tone because it becomes consistent -- and consistency is so important for ADHD children.
It tells your child, "You can count on me, because I don’t change my mind. You can ask 7,000 times and the answer will still be no."
Next: Be Very Specific
This article appears in the Winter 2011 issue of ADDitude.
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