9 Ways ADHD Ruins Marriages

"The most destructive pattern in an ADHD relationship is when one partner becomes the responsible 'parent' figure and the other the irresponsible 'child.'" 8 more toxic marriage mistakes, and how to remedy them.

Learning to Treat and Cope With ADD/ADHD to Avoid Relationship Problems

Discovering that one or both partners have ADD/ADHD is just the beginning. Medication is an efficient way to jump-start treatment, but behavioral changes need to be made. What you do once you’ve started treatment is crucial to your relationship.

If inability to follow through on tasks makes you unreliable in your partner’s eyes, use a smartphone reminder system or another organizational plan to get the task done. Coaching and cognitive behavioral therapy can also help.

Understand that such changes must be voluntary. No matter how much a non-ADHD partner may want to, she can’t force her significant other to get organized or become more attentive. Both partners must change. Often, an ADD/ADHD partner sets up a system that works well for him yet seems inefficient or strange to his non-ADHD partner. Her criticism or suggestions about how to do it better demoralize him. My husband and I learned this the hard way, mostly at his expense, as I kept trying to force him to do things differently. The harder I pushed, the more he resisted, and the worse our relationship became. Sound familiar?

Rediscovering romance and joy in your relationship again after years of hurt is a journey. Each partner works at reframing the challenges that ADD/ADHD introduces into his or her life. They work on systems and treatments for managing ADD/ADHD symptoms. And, one day, each finds that the good things about their partner are what he notices most.

The rewards are worth it. My husband and I moved from dysfunctional to happy. We thrive in our careers, and our relationship is stronger now than before. My husband’s ADD/ADHD symptoms are under control, and I understand and appreciate the effort that it takes. We recognize and accept -- and laugh about -- each other’s faults, and rejoice in each other’s strengths.

You can do this, too. You can move past unhappiness and create something better, if you recognize how ADD/ADHD affects your relationship and make adjustments in your attitude and behaviors.


6 Ways to Stay Focused with Adult ADHD
Follow these expert strategies to help you pay attention, even during the dullest of activities.

Get This Free Download

How do ADHD symptoms affect your relationships? Tell us in the ADHD Adults support group on ADDConnect.

page   1   2   3   4   5   6   next »

TAGS: ADHD and Marriage, ADHD and Relationships, Adult ADD: Late Diagnosis, Stress, ADHD Dating, ADHD Symptoms

Share your comments, find support and solutions on ADDConnect!
ADDitude's free community site offers free support groups for adults with ADHD, plus medication reviews and much more. Check it out today.

Copyright © 1998 - 2016 New Hope Media LLC. All rights reserved. Your use of this site is governed by our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only. See additional information.
New Hope Media, 108 West 39th Street, Suite 805, New York, NY 10018