When ADHD Adult Symptoms Get in the Way: Relationship Problems and Solutions

ADHD marriage expert Melissa Orlov explains the 9 ways symptoms can cause marriage or dating issues -- and offers advice on how couples can cope with adult ADD symptoms and treatments.

Signs Undiagnosed ADD/ADHD Is Causing Relationship Problems

We didn’t know that my partner had ADD/ADHD. I had fallen in love with his brilliance, sharp wit, and his appetite for adventure. His intense focus on me was surprising and flattering. He was warm and attentive. When I got sick on our first date, he tucked me under a blanket on the sofa and made me hot tea. I was touched.

Not long after we got married, our relationship began to fall apart. I couldn’t understand how someone who had been so attentive could ignore my needs, or be so “consistently inconsistent” helping out around the house. He was equally confused and annoyed. How could the woman he had married, who had seemed so endearing and optimistic, change into a fire-breathing dragon who wouldn’t give him a break and wouldn’t leave him alone?

By our tenth anniversary, we had considered divorce. We were angry, frustrated, disconnected, and unhappy. I was clinically depressed. We stayed glued together only by our desire to raise our children well and by a feeling, deep inside, that we ought to be able to do better. Around that time, our daughter, who was nine, was diagnosed as having a learning disability and ADD/ADHD. In time, my husband was also diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.

Habitually disorganized? Always running late? Sure, it might be stress--or it might be adult ADHD. Download Is It Adult ADHD? for an indication. Plus, get more news and tips for ADHD adults delivered straight to your inbox.

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How do ADHD symptoms affect your relationships? Tell us in the ADHD Adults support group on ADDConnect.


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TAGS: ADHD and Marriage, ADHD and Relationships, Adult ADD: Late Diagnosis, Stress, ADHD Dating, ADHD Symptoms

 

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