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Signs Undiagnosed ADD/ADHD Is Causing Relationship Problems
We didn’t know that my partner had ADD/ADHD. I had fallen in love with his brilliance, sharp wit, and his appetite for adventure. His intense focus on me was surprising and flattering. He was warm and attentive. When I got sick on our first date, he tucked me under a blanket on the sofa and made me hot tea. I was touched.
Not long after we got married, our relationship began to fall apart. I couldn’t understand how someone who had been so attentive could ignore my needs, or be so “consistently inconsistent” helping out around the house. He was equally confused and annoyed. How could the woman he had married, who had seemed so endearing and optimistic, change into a fire-breathing dragon who wouldn’t give him a break and wouldn’t leave him alone?
By our tenth anniversary, we had considered divorce. We were angry, frustrated, disconnected, and unhappy. I was clinically depressed. We stayed glued together only by our desire to raise our children well and by a feeling, deep inside, that we ought to be able to do better. Around that time, our daughter, who was nine, was diagnosed as having a learning disability and ADD/ADHD. In time, my husband was also diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.
This article appears in the Spring issue of ADDitude.
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