The Right School, Part 2
- What role do parents play? If the school's mantra is, "You are entrusting us with your child," this may be code for, "We don't want you involved," says Meyer. On the other hand, a philosophy that the primary concern is the student can mean, "We want your help."
- How often will you monitor my child's progress in core subjects? "Every week is ideal—and not at all unrealistic in a school organized to meet individual needs," says Emily Ayscue Hassel, co-author of The Picky Parent Guide: Choose Your Child's School with Confidence (Armchair Press). A school should expect kids with ADD to excel in core academics — because they can.
The Open House Tour
Once you've narrowed your choices, you're ready for the open-house tour — a see-for-yourself experience that will prove invaluable as you near your final decision. Most parents visit about five schools before deciding on one. Some things to keep in mind:
Beware of the principal who talks too much and lets you see too little, warns Sostre. Good schools let you observe classes in progress — not just a slide show in the auditorium. At an open house, a school is on its best behavior. If you feel uneasy about it then, chances are, the uneasiness will only get worse.As you roam the halls, step inside classrooms, and talk to teachers, keep an eye out for the following:
- THE BULLETIN BOARDS. These brightly-colored displays do more than just liven up classrooms and hallways — they showcase the standard work of particular age groups. Read the essays. If the students' writing isn't on par with your child's, the school may not be the best choice for him. If he's touring with you, ask him if he has already learned about the things he sees on the walls.
- THE CLASS CHANGE. How are kids behaving between classes? Do they move along easily on their own, or do teachers have to push them on to the next room? Are children interacting in a safe and friendly way? If children are rowdy and need corralling from teachers, it could be a sign of a lack of structure — hardly an ideal choice for a child who excels in a controlled environment.
- THE CLASSROOM STRUCTURE. Kids with ADD often struggle with memory and focusing, which is why they're more likely to thrive in a structured environment. But don't confuse a controlled atmosphere with mere rigidity. Teachers who assign homework verbally and write it on the board, use specific language when giving instructions ("Sit in your seat with your hands folded and your book on the floor"), and combine gestures with an expressive voice can help your child tremendously.
- TOLERANCE. Many children with ADD learn best through active participation, often relying on movement to keep themselves alert. Problems could arise if a teacher constantly reprimands a student who squirms, shifts in his seat, or gets up a lot.
- CHILDREN ENGAGED. Be it in a lesson, on the playground, or in a gym class, are kids safely engaged in learning and activities? Your red flag should go up if too many kids are goofing around, staring into space, or picking on other kids.
- MAINSTREAMING VS. SPECIAL-NEEDS CLASSES. It's virtually impossible to know if your child will do better in a regular classroom or a special-needs class until he's tried them both. Some parents lean towards mainstreaming, to avoid the stigma of special education, only to learn that their child isn't thriving. Others opt for special-needs classes, only to find that their child isn't challenged. Before you decide which set-up is right for you, find out how the school runs each one. If your child is mainstreamed, will he get special help in the classroom? Will he be pulled out of class for special services, like speech therapy, or can the teacher come to him? If he's in a special-needs class, will he still get the core curriculum? What types of students will he be grouped with? Observe both settings on your tour.
