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Managing Meltdowns
FIX #1: Agree on a plan
Before going to the grocery store or the video-game parlor, ask your ADHD child what would calm him down if he gets upset. If he does have an episode, you will have a plan because your child has delivered it to you. His ownership of it should pretty much guarantee that he will cooperate with your enforcing it.
FIX #2: Acknowledge her anguish
Let her know you understand what she is going through. In a calm voice, tell your child, “I know you’re disappointed that you didn’t find the toy you wanted” or “I know you’re angry because your friends didn’t ask you to play.” Then ask your child to rate her disappointment or anger on a scale of 1 to 10. This gives you an idea of the severity of the problem, without having to nag or repeat what you say.
FIX #3: Set the bar
Explain to him that the clock is running. You can say, "Let’s see how fast you can calm yourself down, so we can get on with the rest of our day" or "Even though you’re upset, you need to get in control, so we can continue shopping."
Fix #4: Snuff Out the Emotion
A version of this article appears in the Summer 2009 issue of ADDitude.
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