Shout Out Your Spouse
A common dynamic in ADHD families is that Mom helps out with the homework and keeps the child on task, and Dad takes the child outside to play. "The result? Mom feels resentful toward Dad because he gets to do all of the 'fun' stuff, while she is the taskmaster and bad cop," says Orr.
Mom may need to admit that playtime is not always fun for Dad. He negotiates rules, deals with temper tantrums, and teaches the child about taking turns and slowing down. Couples need to give each other credit for the things they do well.
"We have 'debriefing' sessions in the kitchen after our child goes to sleep," says Michelle Sherlin, of Southwick, Massachusetts. "We review any updates from school, and we celebrate our successes. We might say, 'Wow! We helped him study for his spelling test, and he got a 90!' or 'Nice job, honey, getting her through this busy week!'"
Next: Laugh It Off...