Give a Little/Get a Little
It's simple: Each of you picks something that you like to do, and you schedule the activities into the week. "Maybe you like going to musical theater, and your spouse loves to go out for steak dinners," says Wymbs. "Each of you promises to make that happen for the other, no matter how much scheduling it takes. Enabling your spouse to pursue an interest—even if it's not your interest—strengthens your bond and brings more fun into the marriage."
Spending time away from your spouse also works wonders. Lori Marra, a teacher and mom of two, in Winter Springs, Florida, who has been married to her husband, John, for 15 years, says time alone helped mend her marriage.
Their son, Ryan, age 12, has ADHD. "He's a chatterbox," says Lori. "He talks nonstop, asks questions all day long. They're good questions, but it drives me crazy after a while." Lori takes a break from it by getting together with friends each week to play Bunco. In return, she encourages her husband to spend time with his college friends, or to do projects around the house that he really enjoys. Each takes care of Ryan while the other has fun.
"As a result, we are more patient with our children when we return," says Lori.