Don't Should On Me

Why ADD adults are happier, healthier and more productive when they ignore the 'should do' advice of others.

Adult ADHD coach Dana Rayburn

Shoulds are someone else's idea of how I ought to do things.

Dana Rayburn, ADHD Coach

Adult ADD Poll

As an adult with ADD, what aspect of your life is most negatively affected by the disorder?
Romantic relationships
Effectiveness on the job
Managing the household
Consistent parenting


Do you get fed up with being shoulded on? I certainly do.

You should do this. You should do that.

All the zillions of ideas other people have for what you should do to improve your life.

All the many thoughts you have for what you should do to be a better person.

Last week I discovered a web site that at first glance I thought fabulous. It's a blog about living more simply; clearing life and home of unnecessary clutter. Sounds great doesn't it?

However, I soon felt bombarded by shoulds.

For example, according to the blogster I should clean my bathroom after each time I use it!. Give me a break. I'm lucky if I've got toilet paper on hand let alone getting out the toilet brush each time I go!

So why do shoulds make me so livid?

Because shoulds are someone else's idea of how I ought to do things. When someone tells me I should do something they are imposing their beliefs on me.

Adults with attention deficit disorder (ADD ADHD) are challenged enough living day-to-day without other people telling us what we should do.

To outsmart your ADHD you have to do what works for you. Not what others think you should.

So what do you do when you're being shoulded on? You notice the shoulds and choose what is right for you.

Please, beware of other people shoulding on you.

While you're at it, beware of shoulding on yourself.

TAGS: ADHD and Anxiety, Organization Tips for ADD Adults

Share your comments, find support and solutions on ADDConnect!
ADDitude's free community site offers free support groups for adults with ADHD, plus medication reviews and much more. Check it out today.

Copyright © 1998 - 2016 New Hope Media LLC. All rights reserved. Your use of this site is governed by our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
ADDitude does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The material on this web site is provided for educational purposes only. See additional information.
New Hope Media, 108 West 39th Street, Suite 805, New York, NY 10018