Typically, in my ADDitude column, I try to resolve conflicts and misunderstandings between ADHDers and their non-ADHD friends and spouses. But there is another side to ADHD relationships that we haven't addressed much in this space — what partners love about each other. In my couples seminars, I hear significant others send verbal Valentines to each other a lot. The words are inspiring, funny, romantic, and heartwarming. They highlight the special qualities that each partner brings to the relationship. Here are some of my favorites:
I Love My ADHD Partner Because…
> He is always the funniest guy in the room, and he makes my romantic dreams come true.
> He has an amazing ability to explain scientific concepts and discuss "outside the box" theories and ideas.
> My spouse is the best date for weddings…one of the few men who dances his heart out, sings aloud, and spins me around. We have fun together. I feel so lucky.
> No matter how wacky our life gets, she never gives up.
> He can always laugh about what is going on in our lives.
> With him, I never suffer from boredom.
> My wife sees the world in a different way. She makes me smell the roses, opens up my eyes to things I wouldn't see, and instills a sense of caring for those around me.
> He is adventurous, carefree, creative, and fearless. It stretches me. I've had so many cool experiences I would never have had without him.
> She tells me at least once a week that I'm cute. Most of the times when she tells me this, I'm nasty with sweat or just got out of bed and have "bed head."
> My husband is very affectionate. Little touches, pats on the back, or hugs are always available if I ask for them.
> She is caring and kind to others. She is loyal to me, has a good sense of humor, and loves music. Plus, she's pretty hot-looking.
I Love My Non-ADHD Partner Because…
> She treats everyone who comes into our home like family, even if it's the first time she's met them.
> He is committed, loving, kind, and has jumped in from day one to help with the kids. He changes diapers, picks up the dolls, and wears princess crowns when asked.
> She brings fresh eyes to seeing the physical beauty around us…and is completely confident in who she is.
> He tries to be affectionate with me and reminds me he loves me, even when I am feeling over-stimulated. If I can't be touched right then, he tries not to take it personally and shows me he loves me anyway.
> I want to thank my wife for never giving up on us. Despite my inattention, her desire to be with me, and to share a life with me, never ends.
> She is my rock, and is always looking to do the right thing, even if that puts a great burden on her.
> She's brave enough to follow her own convictions, and never shrinks from a challenge. I love her hot little body.
> She can make me feel like the most loved and admired man on earth!