Controlling Impulses in ADD Kids, Part 2
At Home
- Be explicit about how your child is to behave. Instead of telling her to "be good" at the playground, tell her to "wait in line for the slide, and don't push."
- Hold your child accountable for his actions. Keep punishments short and appropriate, but let them remind your child that he is responsible for his own behavior. A good rule of thumb for time-outs is one minute for each year of a child's age.
- Discourage a problem behavior by "charging" for each infraction. This strategy rewards your child for not engaging in an inappropriate behavior, such as interrupting your phone calls. Determine, roughly, how many times a week your child interrupts you during a phone call, and fill a jar with slightly fewer quarters. Tell your child that these are hers to keep at the end of the week, but that you will remove one each time she interrupts a call. As the behavior begins to diminish, gradually reduce the number of quarters you put in the jar at the beginning of the week.
A variation is to use tokens, which can be traded in for a DVD rental, an extra hour until bedtime, or some other enjoyable activity.
- Go easy on minor missteps. If your child spills milk because he's pouring it quickly, help him clean the mess, talk to him about the importance of being careful, and move on.
- Anticipate potentially explosive situations. Children with AD/HD need consistency and routine, but the unpredictable will sometimes happen. Prepare your child for special occasions: Explain where you're going, who will be there, what activities are planned, and how he should behave. Plan a way for him to signal you if he's becoming overwhelmed, such as putting his hand in yours if he needs time alone with you. (You can do the same if you sense a meltdown in the making.)
The Spotlight System
Many teachers have found this technique to be an effective way to manage classroom behavior. It treats all members of the class equally, but its use of explicit guidelines, rewards, and consequences is particularly helpful for students with AD/HD.
The system uses a graphic of a stoplight and labeled clothespins to indicate which students are behaving well and which are having difficulty. "Class Rules and Expectations" are written by the teacher and students on the first day of school. Each student signs the document as a pledge to follow the rules. The teacher signs, too, and posts it prominently. Kids earn or lose bottle caps (or some other token), depending on their behavior.
Parents can adopt the Stoplight System, as well, to define and reinforce their household rules.
Rewards
Each student receives two bottle caps at the beginning of the week. More can be earned by positive behavior, such as lining up quietly or helping others. At the end of the week, the caps are traded in for rewards - stickers, school supplies, books, small toys, or a special lunch with the teacher and a friend.
Consequences
If a student breaks a class rule, the clothespin bearing his name is moved from the green to the yellow light. He also loses three bottle caps and five minutes of recess. A second infraction takes his clothespin to the red light, and costs five bottle caps and 10 minutes of recess. If there's a third infraction, he owes 10 bottle caps, forfeits recess for the day - and the teacher calls his parents.
To build leeway into the system, give students a warning before moving their clothespins. If a student's behavior improves, allow him to move back to green from yellow. Each day, students get to make a fresh start from the green light.
This article comes from the August/September 2006 issue of ADDitude.
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