Have you ever given your ADHD child a time-out for talking back — or a heads-up before taking him someplace that is likely to challenge his self-control? Then you're already familiar with behavior therapy.
“A lot of behavior modification is just common-sense parenting,” says William Pelham, Jr., Ph.D., director of the Center for Children and Families at the State University of New York at Buffalo.
The basic idea is to set specific rules, and to enforce them consistently, with positive rewards for following them and negative consequences for infractions. Dr. Pelham suggests these seven strategies for better ADHD behavior:
1. Make the rules concrete.
Telling a child to “do this” or to “avoid doing that” is not enough. Draw up written lists and review them with your child.
Once you're sure he understands what's expected of him, post the rules around the house. For example, you might detail the specific steps involved in getting ready for school.
2. Give clear commands.
First, say your child’s name to make sure you have his attention. Then tell him exactly what you want him to do. If you’re in the checkout line at the grocery store you might say, “Steve, stand next to me and do not touch anything.” Finally, state the consequences for disobeying the command—and always follow through.
3. Balance criticism with praise.
A good rule of thumb is to praise your child for doing something well at least five times as often as you criticize bad behavior.
If you notice that you are criticizing too much, ease your standards a bit. You’ll only set your child up for failure if you expect immediate and perfect results. Instead, reward small steps in the right direction as you work your way toward the desired outcome.
4. Use “when/then” statements to remind your child of rules & rewards.
For example: “When you finish cleaning the garage, then you can go out with your friends.” With younger children, it’s important that the rewarding activity take place immediately after the chore or assignment is completed.
5. Track your child's progress with a token system.
This needn't be elaborate — you can create one with a jar and a supply of marbles. Each time your child does what you ask, put a marble in the jar. Each time he doesn’t, remove two marbles. At the end of the day, he earns a small reward (or a ticket that counts toward a special privilege or reward) based on the number of marbles that remain in the jar.
6. Let your discipline techniques grow with your child
Certain measures, including time-outs, may not work as well with tweens and teens as they do with younger kids. If your high-schooler breaks a rule, you might give him a five-minute chore — such as straightening up the family room—rather than a five-minute time-out.
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