Daily Tips: Surviving The Holidays
"Whether it's one visitor or ten coming to our home, Jamie gets extremely excited. When company enters the house, he practically bounces off the walls," explains Cindy from Brooklyn, New York. "Last Christmas Eve we put him in time-out several times immediately after our guests arrived. Each time he would rejoin the group, he'd lose control again and be sent back to his room. My sister-in-law followed him upstairs the fourth time he went to time-out. She gave him her undivided attention for ten minutes. When he came back downstairs, he was completely under control. Now when we know company is coming, I always ask someone beforehand to spend a few minutes with Jamie when they first arrive. I then tell Jamie, 'Aunt Sue is looking forward to seeing your rock collection (or whatever) when she arrives.' This never fails to work for us."
From The ADHD Parenting Handbook, by Colleen Alexander-Roberts.
Recovering from a childhood in a dysfunctional family
Changing family rituals can be one of the most painful, guilt-inducing risks we can take in our recoveries; but after a very short while, it can be one of the most powerful and healing moves we can make on behalf of ourselves and our famililes. Remember, regardless of your religion, the Holidays have come to mean warmth, love, fellowship, spirituality, recovery and renewal. Hold these principles dear to your heart. Take them seriously. Cherish these values. By doing so you will be showing by your actions and your commitments that you take yourself and your loved ones seriously.
Holiness is a virtue to which we can all aspire. Holiness is damaged by abuse, neglect, stress, hurt feelings, emptiness, anger, emotional dishonesty and fear.
Here are some suggestions:
- Take the family on a ski trip or a trip to a warm climate for the holidays.
- Spend two or three hours maximum with the extended family on Christmas Eve (or other celebrations) and leave it at that.
- Have everyone put their names in a hat, pick names and then each person gets one present from one other person.
- Get the whole family to work at a homeless shelter or food kitchen on Christmas Day.
- Spend Christmas Day with the extended family, then go on vacation for the rest of the week, returning New Year's Day.
From An Adult Child's Guide to What's 'Normal', by John Friel, Ph.D., and Linda Friel, M.A.